


Tellius chatfic? The hell is this?

by Daisysmartheart



Series: FE chatfics and spinoffs [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Family Secrets, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, More characters to be added, Probably ooc, all of them are 15-20 so yeah dw, giving the rairpair the love it deserves, i have to do it all myself then, modern au? yeah probably, or for platonic zelgius/sephiran, soren knows almedhas his mom, the birds are a family™, why is there no platonic sanaki/sephiran tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 22:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisysmartheart/pseuds/Daisysmartheart
Summary: Micaiah made a chat. chaos ensues.





	1. The start of the chaos

[2:41 pm]

SilverDawn has added [blueboi, gay dragon, brat with knives, holy flames, and knighty night to Tellius? Who?]

blueboi: micaiah why

SilverDawn: because fuck you thats why

gay dragon: what. why.

holy flames: see above.

SilverDawn: good job sana!

SilverDawn: o shit i forgot some people

SilverDawn has added [best bird, queenie, anxiety mage, a good sweet girl, angsty crow, angry birds, bara, and xXblackdrag0nXx to Tellius? Who?]

holy flames: is

holy flames: is that kurthnaga.

xXblackdrag0nXx: yeah do you have a problem?

holy flames: i have so many problems and that username is all of them rn

holy flames changed xXblackdrag0nXx's name to kurtheous

kurtheous: on second thought thats a lot better, remind me to never let almedha change my user here again

gay dragon: wait that monstrosity was her fault

kurtheous: yeah,,, your mother sucks with usernames

gay dragon: i can tell

queenie: oh hello!

angsty crow: owo whats this

bara: naesala no.

queenie: good goddess thats atrocious

SilverDawn: Amen to that.

a good sweet girl: this is the one i chose i guess.

bara: oh my goddess leanne why

best bird: herons have zero taste this should be clear by now

holy flames: seph! when are you coming over sigrun has to go shopping and tanith went to the gym

holy flames: crap this isn't dms.

brat with knives: good job.

holy flames: oh shut up sothe

holy flames: i know what sort of trash you like

brat with knives: shit i forgot those dms existed

knighty night: sanaki are you really gonna blackmail sothe. is he really worth it

holy flames: i didn't do anything zel, hes basically blackmailing himself rn

blueboi: you.

holy flames: me?

blueboi: no Him.

brat with knives: wait why me.

blueboi: i give up.

[3:37 pm]

anxiety mage: miccy why i was in the middle of a lecture

SilverDawn: idk it seemed like fun to put all of us in a chat and this happened.

angry birds: see this is why you're still single

SilverDawn: bitch you thought

angry birds: wait what

a good sweet girl: do i know?

SilverDawn: maybe!

[3:52 pm]

[Private message between SilverDawn and knighty night]

SilverDawn: so should we tell them?

knighty night: nah, its fun seeing them confused

knighty night: crap.

SilverDawn: what?

knighty night: sephiran saw my phone.

SilverDawn: well at least of us all he was the one most likely to figure us out so its not too bad

knighty night: he watches your sister on a regular

SilverDawn: welp i'll be right back

[4:07 pm]

[Private Message between SilverDawn and best bird]

SilverDawn: sephiran i swear to Ashera if you tell sanaki about what you saw im never hearing the end of it

best bird: Oh? Even your own sister doesn't know?

SilverDawn: no!!! you know how close she and sothe are! if i tell her shes gonna tell sothe and hes gonna tell ike! do you think i want my boyf getting punched?

best bird: Do you trust her that little? She may only be 15, but she's smart enough to know when a secret must be kept.

SilverDawn: fine. i'll tell her when she gets home from you and ur studying shit

best bird: Okay. Do you want me to tell her that you aren't mad, but you have to talk?

SilverDawn: yes please


	2. sanaki tries to be threatening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heh im not being subtle am i. don't get used to updates this fast im just really into this rn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SilverDawn: Micaiah  
> knighty night: Zelgius  
> blueboi: Ike  
> gay dragon: Soren  
> holy flames: Sanaki  
> brat with knives: Sothe  
> anxiety mage: Pelleas  
> best bird: Sephiran  
> a good sweet girl: Leanne  
> angsty crow: Naesala  
> angry birds: Reyson  
> bara: Tibarn  
> queenie: Elincia  
> kurtheous: Kurthnaga

[Private Message between SilverDawn and holy flames]

[6:21 pm]

SilverDawn: and that's the long and short of it.

holy flames: oh that? i already knew

SilverDawn: wait what

holy flames: you two are not as subtle as you think, and by that i mean sephiran is by no means subtle when using his phone

SilverDawn: *softly but with feeling* what the fuck.

holy flames: dw dw im not gonna tell anyone

SilverDawn: see this is why ur my favorite of the kids here

holy flames: it's? just me and sothe? and maybe kurthnaga?

SilverDawn: yeah well sothes more like a brother and im getting sick of his “flirting,” kurth is an odd kid in general, and ur at least not ike obsessed.

holy flames: fair.

[Tellius? Who?]

[6:54 pm]

anxiety mage: any of the other pharmaceutical majors on? the hw prof. izuka gave is a PitA

blueboi: i don't think so, but my sister is? i can add her if you want?

anxiety mage: yes please thank you

blueboi has added [florette about it to Tellius? Who?]

florette about it: ike. why did you add me to another gc?

blueboi: pell needs help with his pharma hw and no one in here is a pharma major but him so yeah

florette about it: oh that makes sense! mind if i add jill and tormod?

SilverDawn: sure this entire chat is chaos, two more won't hurt.

florette about it has added [axe axe gal and fire baby to Tellius? Who?]

florette about it: oh and @anxiety mage , you can dm me for help!

anxiety mage: oh thank ashera

fire baby: oh crap a gc haven't been in one of these since the track season ended

brat with knives: tormod!

fire baby: sothe!

holy flames: yes yes very touching but @knighty night . dm me right the hell now

[Private Message between holy flames and knighty night]

[7:22 pm]

knighty night: so i take it micaiah explained our relationship?

holy flames: yes, she did, and im making it clear that if you hurt her im gonna hurt you.

knighty night: oh yes, a shovel talk. from a 15 year old. how threatening.

knighty night: but i promise you, id be more likely to hurt myself to keep her safe then ever hurt her. she is the light at the end of the tunnel for me, and every day i just wait for when i can see her again.

holy flames: omfa that was sappy as all hell. im sending it to her.

knighty night: why

[Private Message between SilverDawn and holy flames]

[7:29 pm]

holy flames: [Screen Shot]

SilverDawn: oh my goddesses,,,, what a sap. i love him

holy flames: i could tell lol

[Tellius? Who?]

[7:42 pm]

axe axe baby: oh damnit another gc? really?

angsty crow: yes really, surprise surprise, you actually have friends in this one.

axe axe baby: stfu naesala at least i have friends and not just a girlfriend and her brothers

angsty crow: lol that's not too far off.

bara: thank you jill, you have more courage than most of us and somehow didn't piss of leanne.

bara:...i spoke too soon didn't i

a good sweet girl: ¬`v´¬

a good sweet girl: if you didn't love reyson so much i would probably punch.

angry birds: leanne no

a good sweet girl: see this is why i won't.

axe axe baby: sorry leanne but it had to be said

a good sweet girl: i get it but low blow much?

queenie: i mean at least she tried to put it politely?

queenie: its better then what she did to ike the first time he tried saying that for sure

gay dragon: definitely better. he complained for a week. a. week. and here i thought the herons weren't know for their strength.

queenie: oh yune i didn't know that! sounds like something id expect from bastian though.

gay dragon: haha yeah, damn nerd.

queenie: yep! he'll still give you hell if you tell him though! i swear one man reads way too much classics.

blueboi: yeah i think volke told me he spoke entirely in iambic for a week?

holy flames: yeah he did. lucia seph and i bet him 5 dollars he couldn't hold it for a day, and if he somehow did for a week we'd each owe him 20. he had 60 dollars at the end of a week though.

SilverDawn: see once again this is why i love you

blueboi: wow. just. wow. he does a lot of stupid crap but that's stupid even for him. points for creativity and acting skill tho

[Private Message between a good sweet girl and angsty crow]

[11:28 pm]

angsty crow: are you still awake?

a good sweet girl: yeah but im gonna sleep soon

angsty crow: okay then. love you.

a good sweet girl: love you too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> florette about it: Mist  
> axe axe baby: Jill  
> fire baby: Tormod


	3. elincia just wants to do her homework

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SilverDawn: Micaiah  
> knighty night: Zelgius  
> blueboi: Ike  
> gay dragon: Soren  
> holy flames: Sanaki  
> brat with knives: Sothe  
> anxiety mage: Pelleas  
> best bird: Sephiran  
> a good sweet girl: Leanne  
> angsty crow: Naesala  
> angry birds: Reyson  
> bara: Tibarn  
> queenie: Elincia  
> kurtheous: Kurthnaga  
> florette about it: Mist  
> axe axe gal: Jill  
> fire baby: Tormod

[Tellius? Who?]

[7:12 am]

kurtheous: how has the chat been around for 12+ hours and not combusted

anxiety mage: pfft yeah

[8:41 am]

queenie: oh god i forgot to do my calc homework please say someone else did

holy flames: i mean i did but

holy flames: do you deserve the answers?

queenie: sometimes i forget you and micaiah are family

queenie: then shit like this happens

best bird: she only did it because i made her

holy flames: Sephiran! why you do me like this

best bird: id rather hope im not doing you. do you think i want to get killed

queenie: oh my fucking yune i'll just ask someone else

[we may be fighters but we aint an army]

[9:02 am]

queenie: did anyone do the calc hw?

extinguish this ass: no

extinguish this ass: ashera damnit

extinguish this ass: which one of you was it this time

sword lesbian: see i told you he'd find out @lancePALadin

lancePALadin: shit please dont kill me volke

flamboyant: well this was lucia or elincia

queenie: heh

flamboyant: im not mad just disappointed in you

flamboyant: i did it again didnt i

sword lesbian: you did

horse with an axe: HAHAHA WOW

horse with an axe: THAT WAS TERRIBLE

lancePALadin: why did we invite him again

horse with an axe: THAT WAS RUDE MY FRIEND BUT I DONT MIND

sword lesbian: geo bastard get ur asses out here ootp is on

flamboyant: yell heah what scene

sword lesbian: right after trelawny almost gets kicked out

flamboyant: oh shit shits getting real

[Tellius? Who?]

[9:54 am]

SilverDawn: oh crap @queenie i did it

queenie: ffs finally someone

queenie: i tried two different chats and asked my uncle

SilverDawn: oh wow im so sorry when do you have calc?

queenie: umm an hour after lunch?

SilverDawn: okay im gonna be in the commons during lunch

queenie: thanks micky

SilverDawn: np i just don't know who else is gonna be there

queenie: eh nbd unless ike and zel both show up

holy flames: yeah lol

kurtheous: itd be a massacre and i don't know if any of us can handle that chaos

queenie: how long were you two lurking?

holy flames: eh id say 10 mins or so

kurtheous: i just saw your last message and wanted to add on

blueboi: i saw that and it would, he still owes me a fight

knighty night: i do?

blueboi: yes you do you trick ass bitch

kurtheous: holy shit

holy flames: i didnt think ike could talk shit like this

florette about it: he can lol

florette about it: only when it comes to food and zel tho

fire baby: oh my ashera thats great

brat with knives: it rlly is

brat with knives: its even better in person

florette about it: normally id like bashing my brother but dont u 2 have class?

fire baby: fuck we skwhiehs

blueboi: wtf happened

brat with knives: mrs nailah got his phsksjs

florette about it: pfft you dipshits

gay dragon: oh jfy they're gonna get detention if its mrs. nailah

a good sweet girl: yeah! sis is kinda rough on her students lol

florette about it: i always forget shes your sister in law leanne

a good sweet girl: if rafiel didnt squeal about her as often id probably forget too tbh

SilverDawn: thats so fucking domestic and i love it?

holy flames: you have. no room to talk

SilverDawn: shut it you brat

holy flames: okay then lol

angsty crow: oh shit new gossip???

holy flames: us to know and you to find out!

SilverDawn: yeah no.

angsty crow: well fine then. keep your secrets.

florette about it: this just in naesala is a hidden meme

angsty crow: fuck yeah i am

[12:35]

queenie: oh thank god i was afraid mr. ashnard was gonna kill me thank you so much mica

SilverDawn: np np

knighty night: [Photo Attachment]

queenie: oh my goddesses is that why the message was so short

best bird: yeah lol, these two cant cook

queenie: oh shit gtg but thats adorable

[1:22 pm]

SilverDawn: ahahah we did it!

SilverDawn: [Photo Attachment]

holy flames: you two rlly cant cook but you didn't burn anything so i guess it went well?

knighty night: as well as three attempts and two extra bowls can go

holy flames: omfgs that was great see you two later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> extinguish this ass: Volke  
> lancePALadin: Geoffery  
> sword lesbian: Lucia  
> flamboyant: Bastian  
> horse with an axe: Kieran


	4. Panic attacks and arm wrestling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! yeah writers block is real and annoying. hopefully other chapters won't take this long. i would give a user list but im updating this in my gym class and am lazy so that'll be later.

[Private Message between kurtheous and run way queen]

[2:31 am]

kurtheous: what would happen if the goddesses come back again

kurtheous: would we be able to stop them

kurtheous: because i honestly dont think we could

run way queen: is right now really a good time for a crisis kurth. because you still have classes and i have to work. panic in the morning ill get back to you then.

kurtheous: mkay

[Tellius? Who?]

[8:02]

kurtheous: oh ashera my dms from last night are a shit storm

holy flames: wdym?

kurtheous: i had a crisis and texted my sister of all people

holy flames: ouch

anxiety mage: i wasnt that bad right?

SilverDawn: oh hell no you were worse.

holy flames: oof poor mica

SilverDawn: now now dont be rude

a good sweet girl: youre a really good sister you know?

SilverDawn: oh im sure you are too!

a good sweet girl: °//^//°

holy flames: i love all the kao usage but don't you two have class right now?

SilverDawn: yeah but its tanas do we really need to worry

holy flames: pffft yeah fair

[12:56 pm]

blueboi: hey did anyone see tibarn he challenged me to an arm wrestling match

florette about it: last i saw he was near the greenhouse with nae waiting on rey and leanne

blueboi: okay then

queenie: wait really? ill grab geoffery luci and bastian maybe volke if he wants to and we can spectate/participate lol

bara: okay then fine by me

blueboi: wait why the fuck didn't you respond to me??

angsty crow: he and reyson were lockin lips

holy flames: not surprised, just vaguely disappointed

SilverDawn: shit i probably coulda told you that

a good sweet girl: òwó ikes gonna lose

gay dragon: leanne i will bet you on this again.

angsty crow: sure, make a bet with the best gambler in the schools gf, see how well that works out

angry birds: for once, i agree. soren that is a stupid idea and stupid from you is rare.

SilverDawn: get fucked bitch baby

gay dragon:

gay dragon: ¬.¬

[1:24 pm]

bara: okay how the fuck did volke of all people beat ike

queenie: i dont know but i have a video of it

holy flames: gimme

queenie: i mean i was anyways but

queenie: [Video Attachment]

holy flames: gdi i wish i couldve been there the look on both of their faces were priceless

blueboi: where tf did you all even go?

queenie: bastian was intent on taking us out for pizza lol

queenie: hes a proud bf and is the eternal mother hen of this group

a good sweet girl: i was there and that was still ^°^ to watch!

holy flames: ok really who introduced leanne to kao

best bird: it, it may have been me.

holy flames: listen ilu but no.

SilverDawn: ^

best bird: it is really bird shaming hours isn't it.

blueboi: yes. yes it is.

holy flames: okay then

holy flames: [Photo Attachment]

SilverDawn: oh my ashera that picture gets better every time

best bird: okay but why must you send this. i have, much, much better blackmail than that.

Private Message between SilverDawn and best bird

SilverDawn: ur talking about her baby pictures aren't you

best bird: specifically the one where she got her neck stuck in your trainer yes

SilverDawn: wow fuck you

best bird: not interested

SilverDawn: wanna go troll ike with me?

best bird: yeah sure. courtyard in 15?

SilverDawn: sure


	5. Birds. Just. Not actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so late please forgive me school powercrept me just as hard as lewyn did the meta

[Private Message between best bird and knighty night]

[3:33 am]

best bird: i miss my girlfriend

knighty night: i know seph

best bird: can she come home already???

knighty night: shes on base seph, you know shes on leave in two weeks and then shes home for good.

best bird: really? im so happy fushsjjjjjjjjjjj

knighty night: okay then this is becoming blackmail just in case.

Private Message between knighty night and SilverDawn

[8:13 am]

knighty night: [Picture Attachment]

SilverDawn: holy shit was that this morning????

SilverDawn: also why the crap were you up that late

knighty night: he woke me up

knighty night: this went on for two hours and im honestly kinda worried

SilverDawn: bird chat?

knighty night: yeah id say so

[bird fam]

[8:24 am]

SilverDawn: fam emergency

holy flames: wait what

SilverDawn: Family. Emergency. is it that hard?

holy flames: no but why

knighty night: sephiran is super depressed again. pretty sure he was at least drunk when he messaged me at 3 in the damn morning.

holy flames: oh ouch man

SilverDawn: basically i have after class crap to deal with with elincia and her group so dont be too rude if hes the one making sure you dont die

holy flames: k just dont be nsfw on main later

SilverDawn: im hanging out with elincia how nsfw could i be????

holy flames: bastian??? volke??? disaster gay and disaster bi??? it can very much get nsfw

[bird fam]

[6:54]

SilverDawn: oh god @Sanaki you were rightttt

holy flames: what happened

SilverDawn: we went out to broms diner for food, right? well somehow they knew he kept booze and elincia geoff and i had to deal with the others being sappy drunk messes

holy flames: ouch. @Zelgius you can still back out now you know

SilverDawn: ·`v´· rude!!!!

knighty night: i think im good

SilverDawn: ;·; my hero!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obligatory link to the micazel hell ran by fellow author LilacMist and I! we're pretty much winging it and if by some miracle you aren't already there but this dragged you in feel free to join! link wont expire btw~  
> https://discord.gg/mbhBzAb

**Author's Note:**

> SilverDawn: Micaiah  
> knighty night: Zelgius  
> blueboi: Ike  
> gay dragon: Soren  
> holy flames: Sanaki  
> brat with knives: Sothe  
> anxiety mage: Pelleas  
> best bird: Sephiran  
> a good sweet girl: Leanne  
> angsty crow: Naesala  
> angry birds: Reyson  
> bara: Tibarn  
> queenie: Elincia  
> kurtheous: Kurthnaga


End file.
